Profound Sadness

It brings a profound sadness to my soul, heart, eternal internal system, the fall of Ronaldinho. During the world cup in Japan/Sout Korea I was mesmerized by this smiling looking horse galloping across the pitch. I even lit a candle (white one) during the negations with PSG. I really really wanted him to be ours and I really really wanted the love to be eternal. I remember how much happiness Ronaldinho brought the club and me in his first year and how that was matched with titles in the following two years. I never even contemplated that it would come to an end. I thought he was a good kid, kindly hearted and I do remember grandmother's saying what a good person he seemed, his smile was not a commercial smile, but an honest, gentle and sweet one. I never thought all his millions would affect him and he seemed genuinely gentle and humble. I feel cheated by humanity, our beloved humanity somehow seems a bit rotten and poisoned. It saddens me to see how quickly someone can succumb to the hidden traps of glory, success, and praise. How his family are totally blinded by it and seem to be equally enjoying the new lifestyle. I can't say that I am impressed by these expensive looking sunglasses at all times, the golden chains and the cheap looking glamour of the US rappers, more concerned with bling bling than anything else. I actually have come to think that Ronaldinho is more bla bla bla than actually willing to take himself out of this situation. He just seems tired, tired of being a top top athlete. I believe that he would have had the opportunity to enter as one of the greatest footballer ever, he had all the attributes, but somehow he got lost on the way (like so many others of course, but I thought he was different). It also brings the question if it is compatible to be a top top footballer with all the media circus around it. Will you win golden balls, Fifa World player if you don't have the media circus around you and will you be able to maintain that form, not for 2 or 3 years, but for 10 years. If one looks at footballers with a long long career, most of them have not been in the middle of the circus, but happy to concentrate on their job. A footballer. What will history judge?

It is sad, very sad, and I believe what most hurts, is that I have lost a tiny bit of faith in human capacity.



Ps. I have to admit this article was written quickly when I came home after my watercolour class, and I do apologies for its quality. See it more as a brainstorming session.